I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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