I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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