No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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