I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
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