there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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