ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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