But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
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if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
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