At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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