Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
