but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
