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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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