"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
