New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
