aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
