We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize