We need to start having sex underwater more often.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize