My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
