I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.