that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
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can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
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Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!