I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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