i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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