He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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