I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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