I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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