..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
