She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
