Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
