He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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