Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you traded sex for a burrito?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Life without a bra equals bliss.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
