just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
where are my eyebrows?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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