That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
