I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Are we still banned from the library?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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