Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
