he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
