people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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