in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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