So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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