Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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