So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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