so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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