I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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