I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
