I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
