His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
