I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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