Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
we're so committed to being not committed
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
