i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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