You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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