That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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