My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
