Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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