Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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