There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
True but thats because hes a fetus.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
