You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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