the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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