just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize