I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
