dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
please don't ironically join a cult
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