nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
