how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
