Im at strip club and am horny
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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