Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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