its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
