he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
