who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize