Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The uberlube is also flammable
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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